No Regrets
by ravenXoverXdove
Summary: Axel/Roxas. What makes a first worth it? -not too explicit, but mature themes.
1. No Regrets

A/N- With Spring Break coming to an end, I thought I should do at least one thing productive. It appears that I've been neglecting to finish... well... every story I've started for the past few months now. I went through my computer and found some half stories here and there so I decided to make a completely new one. haha. This is actually based on a true story, so there will be quite a bit of ooc-ness. I'm sorry. Like it, hate it, whatever. I just really needed to let this out. Enjoy~!

Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the concept. Kingdom Hearts will never be mine. Boohoo.

No Regrets.

_Roxas looked at the wall in front of him._ He half laughed, "You've got to be kidding me."

Axel shushed him and half whispered, "Do you want to wake up my grandparents? Just climb over the wall."

Roxas took a deep breath. He came this far didn't he? He lied to his parents and walked twenty minutes, including the amount of time he spent getting lost; he wasn't about to just pass up an opportunity like this. The blonde stepped up onto the lowest part of a connecting wall and continued to slowly inch closer to the brick wall separating him from Axel's backyard.

"Just climb over. I'll catch you okay?" Axel stood on the other side with his arms outstretched slightly. Based on his skinny arms and lanky figure, it looked as though he would break the instant Roxas made it to the other side. Never the less, the blonde climbed over, gently finding the ground with some guidance from the redhead. He let out a small sigh of relief; he made it over with only three scratches.

"Come on, this way." Axel was already walking around the side of the house. Roxas followed silently, ducking underneath the first window he saw.

"Just climb through the window." The redhead pointed to a small, open window which Roxas assumed lead to his room.

"You first," Roxas said nervously. Axel shrugged and climbed in. The blonde followed and found himself atop a flower-print bed.

Roxas began to scan the area with his eyes. The room itself was very small and messy with three beds. He presumed he was sitting on Axel's sister's bed based on the flower pattern. Next to him was a bunk bed, probably for Axel and his brother. The tile floor was littered with empty boxes and clothes. Everything was cramped together. Roxas broke his mental scan as he heard Axel click the door locked. He walked across the room and sat on the bed next to the blonde.

"I haven't really talked to you much in person, have I?" Roxas was playing with his own fingers nervously, only looking up at the redhead every once in a while. He's known Axel since the summer, but they only ever talked through the phone. Roxas knew he was shy, but at that moment, he just felt ridiculous.

Axel smiled a bit, raising his teardrop tattoos closer to his green eyes, which narrowed a bit in a silent chuckle. He brought his gazed up to Roxas's baby face. "Yeah, I guess not."

Roxas laughed nervously, looking up to let blue eyes meet green. "I guess we didn't plan this out very well." He continued fidgeting with his fingers as he spoke.

Green eyes fell again in silent thought then looked back up with a fire in them. "I guess I'll be the one to make the first move then."

Roxas gasped slightly as his hands were grasped by larger ones and was pushed to the flowery bed. Axel attached his mouth to his, skillfully. He tasted like mint and chocolate, and Roxas liked it. Axel's hands roamed down his shirt to the blonde's pants, undoing the button and trying to pull them down. He scowled, "Skinny jeans…"

"Here," Roxas sat up and began to take off his own pants, bringing along his boxers. Axel smiled slightly as Roxas got his own foot stuck in the pant leg, "Don't laugh!"

"I'm not. I'm not." Axel chuckled softly a bit as Roxas fought his pants off. Blushing, the younger of the two pulled off the elder's shirt. Swiftly, Axel laid him back down and resumed their mini make out session. Their tongues fought, but Axel was obviously the more skilled of the two.

The blonde began to tug at the fabric of the redhead's pants. Despite the fact that they were sweat pants, they weren't moving. Axel smiled into the younger mouth then pulled back, taking off his pants, exposing himself completely. Roxas gasped. He couldn't help but stare and slightly caress the redhead stupidly. He concluded that Axel looked much skinnier without bulky clothes to conceal him, but it made other aspects of him look much... grander.

Roxas could feel himself blush as he huffed his hair in front of his eyes, completely embarrassed. He then flailed his arms in a childish manner, looking up at Axel, laughing nervously, his voice raising a few octaves. "First time."

Axel smiled and laughed coolly, making Roxas shiver. The redhead looked into Roxas's ocean blue eyes before lowering himself down between his legs. The blonde ran out of words from his already scarce supply. Axel was very skilled. As his mouth worked wonders on his hard member, Roxas began to breathe harder; he'd never felt this infinite ever before.

"Are you okay?"

Roxas swallowed dryly. He could barely register what Axel had said, but knew to reply, reflexively, in a positive way.

The redhead continued to suck until the blonde couldn't bare it anymore. No mess; it was quite impressive. Axel smiled seductively as he brought himself back up to Roxas's face. Lips crashed together once again, but now it was slightly rougher.

Between hasty breaths, Roxas squeaked. A finger had slipped into his entrance.

"Can I?" Axel looked down into Roxas's eyes. How could he say no? The blonde loved those green eyes, his cat-like smile, him.

"Do it, Axel. Please," Roxas moaned out. Axel proceeded. The blonde squirmed slightly as another finger was added, both moving pleasurably in sync. The redhead attached his mouth to the blonde's neck, leaving an obvious mark behind.

Then Roxas felt the fingers leave and something much bigger find his way to his entrance. He smiled in anticipation, but the penetration was delayed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Axel looked down at the quivering boy of fifteen beneath him, green eyes bright. "I don't want to take it unless you want me to."

Roxas groaned with impatience. "Do it, Axel."

"I just want to make sure that you're sure," Axel replied breathlessly, still staring soulfully down into blue orbs.

"I trust you."

At that, Roxas's eyes widened, he gripped the redhead closer and gasped. It hurt more than he thought it would. So why did he like it so much?

"Are you okay?" Axel's voice sounded concerned, but Roxas couldn't see his face.

"Yes!" Roxas was enjoying himself; all of his shyness flew out the window right then and there. The previous pain turned into pleasure. Axel chuckled and began to thrust more forcefully. The blonde quickly fell into rhythm with him as his hair was being gently pulled by the older male. Thrust after thrust, the blonde concealed his want to vocalize how he felt; in the back of his mind he still remembered the sleeping relatives in the next room.

Axel's thrusts began to grow harder and longer until they both felt each other peak. It was ecstasy.

The redhead pulled out of the younger boy and laid down beside him. Roxas rolled to his side, laying his head on Axel's shoulder. A lanky arm snaked its way around small shoulders, drawing circles with long fingers onto pale skin. Roxas sighed and closed his eyes, growing sleepy from the aerobic patterns being left on his arm.

"Hey, don't fall asleep now." Axel lazily looked down at the blonde on his chest.

Roxas smiled. "Try and stop me."

"You know I'd love to let you sleep with me naked, but my dad's coming home in thirty minutes." Axel laughed, nudging Roxas up. The blonde's face fell; he immediately rummaged around for his phone. Ten missed texts from his mom. Lovely.

"Oh fuck… My mom wants to know where I am… I'd better go."

"Yeah." Axel stood up, putting his pants back on. He outstretched a lanky arm offering his hand as Roxas pulled his own pants on as well. Taking the hand, they shook.

"It was nice having you over, Roxy." Axel smiled his signature smile, the one that made Roxas fall for him.

"It was nice to be here." Roxas smiled back. They dropped hands as the blonde crawled back out the window, over the wall, and started walking back to his own home.

"Sora, it's been five days." Roxas threw his cell phone in disgust and sprawled himself out next to his brunette best friend. "Why won't he text back?"

"I…" Sora looked over at Roxas. His hair was a mess. He hadn't changed his clothes for two days now. His eyes were red from another day spent crying at home. His left sleeve was always rolled all the way down, despite the brutally hot weather Destiny Islands was facing. How could he possibly tell what he really thought to his obviously hurting best friend? "I don't know what to tell you."

"How could I be that stupid?" Roxas wasn't yelling at Sora, but was yelling nonetheless. "Who would actually love me back? Why did I think someone would actually fucking love me back?"

"Hey, hey." Tears were streaming down the blonde's face. Sora felt awful. He put his arms around the broken teen and spoke softly. "It's okay, Roxas. Alright? He'll come around. He'll talk again I promise."

"You don't know that. If he fucking gave a damn about me, he would be talking to me. But, no," Roxas's tear-stained face hardened as he shook his head in the brunette's embrace. "He used me, Sora. Like the god damn rest of them. He used me!"

"Roxas…"

"But I don't regret it."

Sora's face turned to confusion. He knew Roxas wasn't like anyone else, but that sentence just seemed weird to him. He didn't regret being used? Axel took his virginity then threw him away. The brunette's nosed crinkled up in wordless question.

"_I really love him."_

**A/N**- And that's the end of that. haha. Tell me what you think. Love it, hate it, it's your opinion; voice it. Also you could tell me if I should expand. Add a sequel? Prequel? It could use both, but I don't know how badly it really needs them. Anyway, thank you for reading, my lovelies.

-The Raven.


	2. Only Regret

**A/N:** hulloooo. What's this? Finally a sequel? Yup. I know, it's been incredibly too long, but at least it's finally up. Actually, it's been written for some time, but I was too busy to type it. Busy as in, all my free time away from the pool deck was spent sleeping and putting off the typing. Haha, I'm sorry. But since school is out now, I have more time and less the energy lack, so I finally got my lazy ass to do something! Since I was skipping practice, I may as well stop procrastinating, right? haha, anyway... If you haven't read _No Regrets,_ I suggest you read it first. This story will make a hella lot more sense if you do.

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts is not mine, only the plotline.

**References: **_italics = ringtone._

**Songs used:** Mother May I by eatmewhileimhot.

Techno Beats and Body Heats by Amy Can Flyy.

* * *

"Bye, Roxy."

The blonde teen turned on his heel back towards school. Home could wait; he had words to say. "Oh, so you're talking to me now?"

Axel looked slightly taken aback, standing at his usual spot under the last tree on campus. His words faltered slightly. "I… was just saying bye?"

"It's been a damn month since you've said anything to me." Roxas was already pissed off, scoffing indignantly.

"I just saw you walking by, so I thought it'd be nice to say bye," Axel argued, more confused than angry.

"Oh, you thought it'd be nice, huh?" Roxas was fuming. "Because ignoring me is so fucking nice, right? It's not like I had anything to say at all."

"All I said was bye!"

"I hope you know my only fucking regret is you."

Axel hollowed. He opened and closed his mouth, but there were no words; he didn't have any. Off guard, he stood dumbfounded, staring at the hiccuping blonde.

Tears began to form in Roxas's eyes as he stood in Axel's shadow, shaking. "You know what? Forget it. I don't like you like that anymore. Have a great life with Marly. That's what you want, right? Don't worry about me getting in your way. I've been a waste of space for too long now."

The tears never fell from blue eyes even as he turned his hard eyes to look at the empty redhead. Blue orbs pierced Axel through the chest. "I always knew you had no heart." The blonde turned and began to walk away, once again towards home.

Axel stared lethargically after the retiring figure, letting out a breath he hadn't noticed was being held. "Where did that come from?"

Marluxia, pink hair and flower scented, bounded up to the redhead, attaching to his arm. "Ready to go, love?"

"Yeah…"

* * *

"Axel, you haven't been eating."

"Not hungry, Marly." Axel was sitting on the floor leaning against Reno's bunk, hands holding his knees with his head resting on top of the impromptu plateau.

"You need to eat, babe. You're skinny enough as is." Marluxia sat on the lower bunk and began to rake his long fingers through Axel's bright hair.

"Fuck, you know I hate pet names!" Axel broke his embrace, lifting his head and slapping the older teen's hand away. "And it's my body, okay? If you don't like it, you don't have to deal with it."

"Axel…" Marluxia held his abused hand, pouting with more emotional hurt than physical hurt. "Why are you acting so different lately?" Said red-haired teen squinted up his face in inner anger.

"Are you okay?" Marluxia's face fell closer to Axel's, his tone softer than velvet.

Axel released his face, letting his entire body fall limp. He breathlessly replied, "You know, Mar… I really don't know anymore."

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. The redhead remained dead-still as the pink-haired teen chewed his bottom lip and fidgeted quietly.

"You should go."

"Huh?" Marluxia looked back up from his lap, confused.

"You should leave now." Axel still hadn't moved yet.

"Oh… okay." Marluxia, though reluctant to leave Axel so vulnerable and alone, got up to leave. "I love you."

Axel finally moved again. His body stayed limp, but his head rolled up to meet the stare of the other teen. Silently, his empty eyes locked onto watering ones. Marluxia covered his tears with his jacket sleeve as he ran out of the small, clustered room, towards the front door.

* * *

_He's standing alone with a gun in his hand, wondering-_

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry."

Roxas pulled away from his phone, crinkling his nose in confusion. He slowly retreats back to the cellular device. "What?"

"I'm just… I'm sorry." Axel's voice was shaky on the other end.

The blonde's face went from confused to worried. "Axel, what are you talking about?"

Axel breathed deeply before speaking again, "Roxas, you know what I mean. And I'm just… I'm so sorry."

"Oh…" Roxas fumbled with his hair using his free hand nervously. "Don't be, I wanted to. I shouldn't have done anything… It was my fault."

"It's not just that, I" Axel paused with a shaky breath, "I kind of played with your emotions. I'm sorry."

"Well… It happens. I just let myself think it was something else. I'm sorry." Roxas stung himself with his own words, tears forming in his eyes. "I shouldn't have done anything."

"Same here."

That was it. It felt like a knife was plunged though his very soul. Roxas was silently crying. Those two words hurt him more than he could have ever imagined. All Axel could hear was a desperate gasp from Roxas's end before feeling beyond horrible, like murdering a puppy. "Oh god, Rox… I… I didn't mean-" click.

He had heard enough. The blonde dropped his phone onto the floor, ignoring the ring tone set specifically for Axel. He stood up from his bed and walked over to a small mirror across his cluttered room. Silently, taking it off the wall, he stared at his sullen reflection. With a yell of frustration, he threw it at the wall where it once stood, completely shattering it. Bending down, the blonde picked up a rather jagged piece.

He looked at the shard of glass; he could see one stormy eye staring back at him. He smile of a masochist passed his lips as he slashed his left wrist in one fluid motion. He felt his blood being shed, smiling all the more, cutting again and again, up his arm until it was stripped scarlet. Roxas let the broken reflection fall to the ground as he looked up.

"Here's to the best day of my life."

* * *

"It's so hot out…" Roxas laid, sprawled out on his best friend's couch, clad in a black long sleeve shirt and skinny jeans.

Sora walked into the living room holding two ice cream bars, more appropriately dressed in only swim trunks. "Jeez, Rox. Not coming onto you or anything, but take some clothes off." He handed the blonde one of the bars as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

"No thanks," Roxas said mechanically, gnawing at his ice cream.

"Then stop complaining. Who wears turtlenecks this close to summer anyway?" Sora nearly inhaled his own ice cream as he forced out his words.

"I just like them…" Roxas replied lamely, paying more attention to his ice cream now. Sora already finished his.

Sora scooted closer to the blonde playfully, tugging at the hem of the offending shirt. "C'mon, Rox. Take it off."

"I said no," Roxas couldn't help but laugh a little as the brunette's fingertips brushed his stomach. Curse whoever's idea it was to make him so damn ticklish!

"C'mon, it'll be fun," Sora coaxed, lifting the shirt a little higher.

"Please, Sora." Roxas was trying hard to stay serious, but the brunette was definitely a crafty one. "You don't want the shirt to some off."

"Why? Ashamed of your body? Please, Roxas, we look like almost like the same person." Sora kept trying to lift the fabric as Roxas continued to pull it down.

"No, it's just-"

"No excuses!" At this point, the two were full-on wrestling over the material. Roxas continued his useless please until the match stopped with a gasp. The shirt was gone as was Sora's lack of composure. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

The blonde turned away with shame, right hand covering left arm. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're _sorry?_ That's the best thing you can say?" Sora was stumbling with frustration.

"Sometimes life is fucked up…" Roxas let his eyes drop down to the dusty corner next to him.

"Sometimes life is fucked up…" Sora recited under his breath. He grasped Roxas's shoulders to try to get the blonde to look at him. He continued to keep his head away and eyes fixed on the corner. "I need to tell someone…"

Roxas's head snapped up and he squirmed just out of Sora's reach. "No!" The brunette was a bit shocked by the sudden outburst. "I mean… No, Sora, I'm fine. It was only once, okay? I'm getting over everything. I'm fine."

"But this is serious-"

"So am I."

The two stood in silence for a while before Sora finally spoke up, "It'll stay between us."

"Thanks…"

Once again the room fell into a smooth silence. And, like before, the brunette pierced the silence, like nothing had happened. "Let's go to Riku's! His fridge could use a good raiding."

* * *

"Hey!"

Roxas looked over his shoulder only to immediately snap his focus back to the pathway in front of him and quicken his pace away from the school.

"Roxas! Wait up-" Axel was running after the now sprinting blonde. Of course long legs versus short legs doesn't add up to a fair race, so in mere seconds, Roxas was pinned against a wall, face turned away from Axel's.

"What's your deal?" Axel yelled into his ear, raising him off the ground by his jacket collar.

"Whatever are you talking about?" Roxas mumbled off to the side, not looking at the redhead.

"You told Riku what happened! He thinks I'm a fucking heartless rapist. _You_ were the one who wanted to keep it secret!" Axel was growing slightly red in hot furry, not caring, nor noticing for that matter, that people walking home had stopped to watch. Roxas, however, noticed and snapped.

"You know why I did it?" Roxas slapped away the hands holding him up, landing roughly on his feet, looking directly into emerald eyes. "Because I need to fucking talk about it, but you're a fucking cunt and ignore me now. Stop fucking hiding, Axel. You're the one who won't talk to me."

"I can't! You know I can't! I'm with Marly!"

"Then why the hell did you lead me on? Why did you do it, hmm? Why did you let it get this far?" Roxas was completely yelling now.

"You were cute? I don't know! Look, I messed with your feelings and I'm sorry! Why can't you just get over it?" Axel was yelling back as the crowd of people around them grew.

"Because I don't know why you would use me like that!"

"Because I can't do that to Marly!"

"But you can do it to me?"

There went another fight won by the blonde. Said blonde turned on his heel and pushed his way through the now-leaving crowd, taking along with him his brunette counterpart.

The redhead stood alone, lanky figure looking defeated. With closed eyes, his head rolled upward. "Shit."

* * *

Next Week

_See right through all the things you say, pretty green eyes and-_

"Hello?"

"Hey, Roxy. I'm at my dad's this weekend… Meet me at the park, okay?"

Roxas was just about to ask why, but Axel's familiar voice was already terminated by a click. Looks like he was going to the park.

Lying to his mom, Roxas began down the path he had embarked upon only a month ago. Up ahead he could vaguely see the halfway point between his house and Axel's house: the park. The closer the blonde walked, the more vivid the mess of red hair on the swing set became.

"Hey." Roxas sat on the swing next to Axel gingerly. Said redhead looked up and gave a weak smile, then looked down again, gently rocking on the swing without picking his shoes off the ground.

"I broke up with Marly," he said mostly to the ground.

"Oh?" Blue orbs were focused on the black-clad body beside him.

"Yeah." Axel sighed. "I've been thinking lately… Why was I still with him anyway? I wasn't happy with him before all this, so why did I go back?"

There was a pause. Roxas waited patiently as the redhead mulled silently over his words.

"I realized," Axel looked up to meet the younger teen's eyes, "I made a mistake. Roxas-"

"Yeah?" The blonde covered his mouth. Damn nerves. "Sorry, continue."

Axel continued as if he was never interrupted. "I should have stayed with you."

After picturing this moment night after night and hearing those words said thousands of times over, Roxas was at a loss for words.

"Will you give me another chance?"

"I-" Roxas was fighting his blank mind for at least one sentence. "Axel, you really hurt me."

"Consider this as me replacing what I broke with my own."

Roxas looked at the ground in front of him, frowning. The redhead looked slightly hurt and confused as the blonde stood up. Roxas walked over to stand in front of Axel, clasping both of his hands. Looking up into his face, Axel could see Roxas smile.

"You don't have a heart, remember?"

Axel stood up, hands still holding smaller ones loosely, matching the blonde's smile. He pulled the younger teen into him, hugging him as if his life depended on it. Finally pulling back, Roxas looked up into emerald green eyes.

"Here's to the best day of my life."

Axel tasted like mint and chocolate.

~Fin.

The Raven.


End file.
